I must be ten freakin' feet tall!

A couple of weeks ago, I logged on to a social networking site I belong to and found "the Contentment Experiment".  The invitation read: 

"Many have said that complaining blocks us from manifesting positive things in our lives .I challenge myself and all of you to discipline yourselves for one week and not to mutter a single complaint. Will our results be positive, negative or both?" 

It sounded like worthy use of my energy and a reasonable time commitment, so I joined.  Joining, by the way, consisted of simply pushing a button.  I actually found myself physically hesitant and had to will my finger to depress the mouse click.  I suppose my subconscious feared a deep felt reliance on complaining developed many moons ago as a strange coping mechanism. 

Goal for the week: to not utter a single complaint  
Reality for the week:  miserable failure

With all of my personal growth work, positive intentions and energy directed toward gratitude, I still have an underlying propensity for complaint. This pitfall for my continued growth and deeper connections is now bathed in a floodlight of realization.  But now what?.   I'm out of sorts, overwhelmed, frustrated with myself and slowly becoming more and more depleted, all of which brings to mind the words of my life coaching instructor Richard.  During a recent class he said, "when you're uncomfortable, you're growing the most".  To this I say, I must be ten freakin' feet tall!

So, what do I do?  The only thing I can.  I trust. 

I trust in the knowing that I'm on the right path... that I'm doing the work... that I'm in the midst of great change and greater growth.  I have faith that I'm being protected and cared for during this process.  I allow for the possibility that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in every moment.  Ultimately... I get off my own back about it and move forward with an intention for being mindful of opportunities to be in contentment and ultimately realize my dream of delighted knowing.

Loving me (or trying anyway),
Suzanne