LOVE NEVER LEFT BUT JOY WENT MISSING
On a journey of 20+ years together, the last four have been the roughest rapids we’ve encountered. Life dealt us a tough hand, we played it out. Getting by. Getting through. Then the next hand was shit too. And the next. A continual cascade of external factors beyond our control.
Life at it’s bull-shittiest.
Love never left, but joy went missing.
We lost ourselves. And somewhere along the way, I stopped believing there would be an “on the other side” of things. There’s much more to the story, but nothing for here and now. We’ve each individually been doing the work to repair ourselves, and last week we reclaimed a vital piece of JOY IN PARTNERSHIP.
The entire day was not blissful. The trip was filled with fits and starts. And when we arrived in the cooler temps, lakeside among my beloved Pines, I was in a heightened state of stress and tension. It was 30 minutes AFTER we pulled into the park… with the new kayaks unloaded and a plan for our maiden voyage decided upon that I sat down on the shoreline…. allowed my eyes to close… focused on my breath… reconnected at my center… fluttered my eyes open and WHOA… there they were… the TREES.
I hadn’t yet been able to “see” them or “feel” them. I nearly cried.
I realized even though I had arrived, I wasn’t yet present. Let me be clear, the solution wasn’t making a decision. I couldn’t command myself to be present. I couldn’t simply CHOOSE better. I didn’t shame myself with faux gratitude. I went into a conscious care-taking of my needs in that moment and as a result, I gained access to a deeper connection with my experience.
Then we frolicked and explored and soaked in the magic and medicine of the surroundings… sharing in the splendor… rewiring circuits of joy.
It was a GOOD day.
Should you require or desire support for your process, I offer SOUND & SOUL MEDICINE SESSIONS.
LOVING ME / ROOTING FOR YOU,