EDGE-WALKING AND THE SENSITIVE HELPER DILEMMA
You wish to be a positive impact on our world. You see all that is unattended or under-defended in our society and want to dive in, yet become overwhelmed; daunted by the effort it would take to move the needle at all, let alone make any real difference. As a highly sensitive creature, your drive to help confronts your limitations and, possibly, a real inability to adapt to or entrain your energy with our current culture-at-large.
WELCOME TO THE SENSITIVE HELPER’S DILEMMA
ALLOW ME TO BEGIN WITH A BIT OF CONTEXT FOR THIS DISCUSSION…
I’ve identified as a highly sensitive empath long before it was “on trend”. And yes, I get a little salty about how the traits of sensitivity are so heavily marketed now; sometimes even used as tools of manipulation in “community-building-for-profit” settings.
And, over the years, I’ve been privately and publicly chastised for my sensitive traits by people purporting to be “SENSITIVE” themselves… by those who wear the label as a badge of mystique and spiritual credibility. (ew!!!)
There ARE genuine treasures to be claimed within profound sensitivities when they are navigated responsibly, explored regularly and monitored continually for blindspots & egoic/psyche pitfalls. If you claim the gifts but don’t commit to your personal work, that CAN cause harm.
PACKAGING SENSITIVITY AS A GIFT TO BE MONETIZED (Full disclosure: Yes, this is what I do in my business practice) MAKES THE PATH MORE DIFFICULT… MORE COMPLICATED… RESULTING IN MORE PERSONAL WORK TO NAVIGATE.
It ain’t always pretty.
It’s often not easy.
So WHY do it? Short answer . . .
BECAUSE IT’S MEANINGFUL!
A LIFE WITHOUT MEANING IS NOT A THING MY SENSITIVE HEART CAN BEAR.
For me, as A CALLING — or better said — the only way I know how to fulfill the call to service, there is no other way. Sure, I can ignore or avoid the call for awhile, but I’ve never been able to for long without consequences to my wellness.
WE’VE CIRCLED BACK to the Sensitive Helper Dilemma.
My personal sacred wellness awaits in tending the elusive sweet spot between SERVICE & SELF-CARE which only shows its doorways through integrity & ethical alignment.
Embracing my TRUTHS and learning to care for myself in ways that keep me upright more often than flattened has been the game changer in my late adult life. My early years played out on a metaphorical minefield. I existed either paralyzed for fear of what would happen when I moved OR moved then survived the aftermath of detonation and decimation, again and again.
Because MY LIMITS primarily activate within societal constructs aka current culture, one particular blessing blossomed within my limited realities as a profoundly sensitive empath. I was sick often and off the hamster wheel of life A LOT. While that felt like a punishment, I became adept at stepping in and out of the constructs my peers, family members and everyone else I knew existed in continuously.
I eventually found and claimed territory that fits my true sensibilities yet keeps me poised to participate in the world…
I cultivated a meaningful life at the EDGES.
This victory developed over time and through the pain of exclusion and unappreciated seclusion. The upshot being my GIFTS deepened and developed outside of trends, conventional ways, societal expectations and social norms. Life on the edges of culture has become my stomping grounds and where I’m most CONNECTED to my capacities and abilities, not because I’m a rebel or an activist or a change-maker but because it’s where I can SURVIVE.
Being a SENSITIVE HERMIT isn't flashy or perennially joyous. Here at the edge is not a place I would coax you to follow. But if it’s where you’re existing, or being led to move toward, I can attest there is magic to be found here and many hopeful possibilities.
The delicious quiet at the edge creates an opening for connections to resources outside of my own. Outside the din and chaos of culture, I can hear the voices of nature, I can glimpse the unseen, I can discern guidance from Spirit.
Edge-walking itself is tricky living. I’m focused here on a conversation around culture, but there are also spiritual realities of HERE and ELSEWHERE. (A topic for another time).
So how am I connected, grounded & contributing to the humanitarian NEEDS of the current culture I serve and honor but do not fully subscribe to?
I’m a good person as often as I can be.
I continually test and stretch the boundaries of what I can do for myself, for my family, for my clients/community & for humanity.
I don’t LAZE around getting comfy in my CAN’Ts or lounge mindlessly in the hazy cloud of privilege* and patriarchy in which I’m enmeshed.
*BIG TRUTH TIME: As a white cis gendered female married to a white cis gendered man, I am soaked in privilege. While I’m grateful for the safety and securities I’ve experienced, I am not blind to the insidious injustices and oppressions alive and well in this country. Please note, I’m not defending the fairness of my privilege, simply pointing out the natural human tendency to appreciate being safe. I am awake to the need for anti-racism and anti-oppression education everywhere, including my own home, my own mind and my own heart. (READ: No one is immune!)
As a profoundly sensitive empath, I do what I can, when I can, how I can. It’s how I operate with EVERYTHING. It’s how I am successful at ANYTHING. So, activism, social responsibility work and being a HELPER must follow the same template:
A GOOD PERSON
DOING GOOD THINGS
SHARING & SPREADING GOOD
AS OFTEN AS SUSTAINABLY POSSIBLE
EVERYDAY GOOD IN ALL WAYS, ALWAYS
many of my readers, clients and friends share in many aspects of both my sensitivities and my privileges. If that feels true for you, what would I hope you will take-away from this?
BE MINDFUL AND FULL OF CARE WITH WHO AND WHAT YOU "FOLLOW". Check for true resonance beyond savvy word-smithing and claims that smell of “I’m JUST like you and SO successful. Come, come . . . let me show you the way.“
RESPECT & HONOR YOUR SENSITIVITIES. When you utilize the corollary gifts of sensitivity for yourself or others, walk mindfully in the FULL CIRCLE EXPERIENCE of what that entails. Not sure what that is? Seek to understand. DO. THE. WORK.
BE AWARE OF YOUR PRIVILEGE. Aware, not defensive. Aware and moving toward more awareness. Aware until it leads you to action. Action that keeps you in integrity with your own sacred wellness AND the needs of humanity.
Possibilities abound for favorable intersections with self-care and humanitarian responsibilities. I know, with effort, I will find mine. I trust you will do what you can to find yours.
Walk well, my friend
Should you require or desire support for your process, I offer SOUND & SOUL SESSIONS in Phoenix, AZ.
LOVING ME / ROOTING FOR YOU,